I decided today that I've got a little more fight in me. My progress on the application process at one university is at a standstill. I wait. For an email, I think. Classes begin August 8th. If I get my email in the next 5 days or so, maybe I can whisk myself away in time, but it won't be pretty. So that has involved a lot of anguish, and guarantees only more in the near future. And with such anguish comes a point where I ask myself if it's all worth it. Is it healthy. What. Do. I. Do.
I swing from optimistic and hopeful to devastated many times throughout each day. And it takes its toll. I don't want to be ignorant of my own health and well-being, just to commit to this. And I also don't want to miss out on a gigantic opportunity that I'll not be able to reclaim later.
And maybe this is just one of my optimistic moments. I don't know. I never know what emotion the next moment will bring.
I've been up since 4:30am. I noticed an email I received at about 2am on my phone. It was from one of the universities I was previously interested in. I had given up hope with that university because they kept saying that their admissions were delayed, with no further information or guesstimate as to when they might begin processing. I have been distracted by the application process with another university over the past two months and now I get an email from the head of the Gandhian Thought & Development Studies department at this other university. He remembered me. It's nice to feel like I have options again, and maybe a little more time. I couldn't fall back asleep so I got up to do my application. Mind you, the app is due July 30th and today is the 27th. And India is a day ahead. So I'm given 2 days to get my paperwork across the world. But hopefully they'll accept my emailing of documents while the paper copies traverse continents. There's that hope again. She always comes around.
I swing from optimistic and hopeful to devastated many times throughout each day. And it takes its toll. I don't want to be ignorant of my own health and well-being, just to commit to this. And I also don't want to miss out on a gigantic opportunity that I'll not be able to reclaim later.
And maybe this is just one of my optimistic moments. I don't know. I never know what emotion the next moment will bring.
I've been up since 4:30am. I noticed an email I received at about 2am on my phone. It was from one of the universities I was previously interested in. I had given up hope with that university because they kept saying that their admissions were delayed, with no further information or guesstimate as to when they might begin processing. I have been distracted by the application process with another university over the past two months and now I get an email from the head of the Gandhian Thought & Development Studies department at this other university. He remembered me. It's nice to feel like I have options again, and maybe a little more time. I couldn't fall back asleep so I got up to do my application. Mind you, the app is due July 30th and today is the 27th. And India is a day ahead. So I'm given 2 days to get my paperwork across the world. But hopefully they'll accept my emailing of documents while the paper copies traverse continents. There's that hope again. She always comes around.
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