When I returned from Maharashtra/Gujarat, I found out that a GSE team from Texas was in town and I was invited to a Rotary meeting where they would be giving a presentation. That was a welcome change of pace. I was ready to have some American company. I ended up being invited to stay with one of them at their host’s home in Kottayam (actually a fancy guest home they operate, with air conditioning, a jet tub and a monsoon shower!) and for a few days I joined them on their vocational/cultural visits and at Rotary meetings. It was a lot of Rotary exposure in just a few days after very little over the course of five months for me. The team was composed of five women and Rtn. Jim (team leader) from south Texas. I felt like I was participating in GSE all over again. It was the same overwhelming routine of incredible experiences, confusion, exhaustion, excitement, hilarity, bonding with families and each other, etc. 
 |
| Touring Rotary Blood Bank |
And of course there were some butt grabs, inappropriate commentary and sleazy eyeballing to boot. I have many Indian friends who are appalled to hear about the behavior we have been subjected to as (western?) women here, and they feel ashamed and apologetic and don’t want me to take such stories back home with me. They are proud of their country and want us to leave with only good experiences and are angry at the men who tarnish the reputation of their culture. But I don’t want to pretend that this very big issue doesn’t exist. If an American woman plans to travel to India, I would absolutely want her to be aware of what to expect in the way she will be treated. The likelihood of a negative experience such as a grab is so great that travelers should definitely be warned (female travelers who do not have male company, though not always does the presence of a man prevent atrocities from happening to women as we have recently heard in the case of some Swiss tourists in India). But it is also my duty (and pleasure) to share the intensely incredible experiences which pull me back to this place despite the lows I’ve been through. While some men are offensive, others are intensely protective, caring, and accommodating. It’s yet another way that India presents polar extremes. After my last blog post I continued to ponder why this kind of behavior has seemed to affect me more greatly than it has affected my female foreign roommates and another thought that came to mind is that in many cases I have experienced the behavior perpetrated by males whom I was supposed to trust and began to trust in some cases, only to be severely disappointed later, left feeling stupid that I trusted someone who I shouldn’t have. In the cases of the other girls, they have mostly experienced this behavior by men who were strangers to them.
So along with the GSE team, I toured churches & seminaries, enjoyed many feasts, spoke to school children at an assembly, went on a houseboat, visited a temple, went to a festival, and much more. And we enjoyed many laughs together. I’m very thankful to all of them for adopting me as their 7th GSE team member. 
 |
| Cultural program |
A week or so later, the Rotary Club of Kottayam East (my host club) invited me and my roommates to a family meeting where they welcomed and honored District Governor Muraleedharan. At that meeting, the club donated a machine that makes paper gift bags to a man who lost his livelihood due to kidney problems and dialysis.
I was also invited to speak to the Rotaract Club of a local engineering and business college. When I mentioned my age, a student asked his teacher if I said I was thir-ty or thir-teen. Aw, shucks. :)
Then I was invited to District 3211’s District Conference where I got to meet up with the Texas GSE team yet again. It was quite a spectacular event hosted at Kovalam Beach - one of Kerala’s most famous tourist destinations.
 |
| District Conference opening procession |
 |
| Kovalam Beach |
 |
| A fisherman gathering nets at Kovalam Beach |
The speakers were impressive and the evening entertainment was lavish and racy. Scantily-clad Russian dancers and Mumbai supermodels entertained the crowd.
Mostly we American women huddled together out of view once the sun went down and the alcohol began pouring. Being a woman is not enjoyable when you have to be so guarded, opting out of the fun that everyone else seems to be having, knowing the likely consequence of being grabbed. But again, I will say that there are also plenty of decent men who look after us and would never treat us in such a way. It’s tricky to present my experiences without giving the impression that all men are creeps here. There are just a lot of them who are creeps (seemingly proportionally more than in the US) and there’s still a lot of tolerance for backward thinking toward women so it’s more prevalent, I think. It’s like my grandparents generation and racism. It’s appalling and difficult to understand such a way of thinking but it was also tolerated as “normal” for most of their lives so somehow it’s possible to be shamelessly racist yet a respected individual simultaneously.
Anyway, back to the speakers. One man was chosen for a CNN Hero award last year. He gave up his lucrative career as a chef in Europe after visiting home in Madurai and witnessing a destitute man in the streets starving so severely that he was eating his own feces. He decided to dedicate his life to feeding the poor and now with a group of volunteers he provides thousands of meals each day. Initially, his parents thought he was literally insane when he made this big shift in his life but after taking his mother out to see the good work that was being done and to meet the beneficiaries of his service work, she was touched and realized the bold mission her son was undertaking.
There was also a Malayali film actor (Kerala film) who spoke in Malayalam so I don’t know what he was talking about.
There was also a former UN ambassador and parliament member, Dr. Shashi Tharoor, who spoke about his work toward anti-corruption in the government and addressing basic needs of the society with a focus on educating girls.
It was here that I said farewell to the Texans as their journey was wrapping up. I was quite jealous that they would soon be enjoying Mexican food while I held out for a few more months.
On the way back to Kottayam, a four-hour drive, Anil (my Rotary host counselor) took me to his wife’s ancestral home in a small village. The mission of the visit was to get me a jackfruit. I had never had jackfruit before but wanted to be sure I tried it before leaving India and the season was just about to begin. They cut down a huuuuuge fruit (“Look out below!” - seriously, if I see a jackfruit above me, I will sidestep to avoid being in its gravitational path, just in case) and gave me half of it wrapped up in a box to ripen for a few days before I could dig into it and try it out. I also got to try jackfruit halwa made by his sister-in-law and it was the best halwa I’ve ever had. Sooo delicious. I guess you can’t often purchase it in the market because it’s so labor intensive. Oh, it was so good. Here are some photos of my jackfruit adventure:
 |
| Anil with some family antiques |
 |
| A long, sticky, messy process |
 |
| Ta-daaaa! Jackfruit (tastes like Juicyfruit gum) and seeds (also edible) |
