Today I...

Was told by a tailor and 2 sales ladies that I should opt for 3/4 length sleeves for my kurta in order to hide my too-thin arms.

Had 4 sweet African girls ask to touch my hair and ask if blonde is ever a natural color of hair or if it is always dyed that way.

Averted a drunk, potential-stalker from the bus station, who shook my hand too long and too many times and then followed me to my bus stop where I zipped away in an autorickshaw.  

Went to the biggest, fanciest book store around to find that they had zero books written by Mahatma Gandhi.  

Cooked Chinese (inspired) stir-fry for roommates and friends (from USA, Kenya & Uganda) while my roommate cooked a chicken she had selected live this afternoon and left with after only 5 minutes of "processing," right in front of her.  Yikes.

Shrieked and cowered (and took a video) as my roommate Marsha and her friend Sadie boldly killed a giant, poisonous spider in my bathroom.  Freda has now deemed Marsha “the man of the house.”  

Good night.

Absentee

I was extremely pleased to receive my absentee ballot in the mail a couple of weeks ago.  I had emailed my city clerk to inquire a couple weeks prior, but had not heard back so I didn’t think they were working on my request but alas!  I got it!  It has been a fun couple of weeks, showing my Indian friends, classmates and professors the ballot.  Obama is the clear winner, internationally.  Everyone is so happy to know that my vote is headed his way.  And some of my friends can certainly claim a stake in my vote.  I quickly became stressed upon reading that I needed another American to witness my sealed voting envelope before sending it back to the US.  I haven’t seen another American since I left the land of liberty and had no idea of any in my state here.  I emailed the clerk of courts back in Madison and she assured me that I could simply go to the US embassy for witnessing.  Uhmmm, that probably sounds like a real nice idea, Ms. Madison Lady, but the nearest embassy is a 14 hour cockroach-infested, hot, sticky train ride away.  Not happening.  So I started putting the word out to my classmates who agreed to ask around in their hometowns and other networks.  And then, out of the blue, my dear friend Vaishali from Maharashtra (who hosted me in 2011) contacted me to inform me that she had met a lovely American named Carolyn who was traveling soon to Kerala.  She said that Carolyn is a loving person and I’m a loving person so we must meet.  :)  Vaishali had no idea of my voting predicament.  It was perfectly random!  And I was delighted to get to connect with Carolyn and find out more about her travels and impressions here.  She is a professor of education (hailing from Utah) and has been teaching in Maharashtra for three months.  Her brother and son joined her in recent weeks as she is wrapping up her time here and to Kerala they were soon headed.  Within about a week, we had arranged for me to meet them in Alappuzha (pronounced “Ah lah poo rah,”  I think) which was a 1.5 hour bus ride from my place.  

It’s always an adventure when I set out on any travels here.  First, I asked my classmates how to catch a bus there.  They instructed me to take the bus outside of the university to the KSRTC station (Kerala State something something, bus company) in Kottayam town (my city, though I live a bit outside of the city so I don’t venture there often) and then find a bus to Alappuzha.  I didn’t yet know where I’d be meeting Carolyn and company so that was about as far as I could plan out.  I hadn’t been to the KSRTC station before but I managed to get on a bus to Kottayam at the university gate.  The buses are labeled in Malayalam which uses a script I haven’t learned yet but luckily the bus guy was shouting “KottayamKottayamKottayammmm” which can be less auditorily recognizable than one might think.  Then I asked him if the bus went to KSRTC and he said it will take me to Market Junction.  I hoped that Market Junction was near KSRTC and was confused as to why I couldn’t get directly to KSRTC.  I tried to ask a woman sitting next to me for clarification but she couldn’t speak English.  I sat patiently until the bus guy flagged me to get off at Market Junction about 15 minutes later.  Market Junction!  Wow!  I had never been to this part of Kottayam before.  It was a great spot filled with produce vendors.  I asked some men in green uniforms (police officers?) for directions to the bus station and walked a few blocks until I found it.  Hooray.  Then the info booth guy at the bus station informed me that a bus would be leaving in about 20 minutes.  I bought some kappa chips (tapioca/cassava version of potato chips) for an unhealthy and rushed lunch and asked some women if they could tell me when the correct bus comes for Alappuzha.  The bus was already parked and loading passengers so I as able to hop on right away, and thankfully nab a seat and not have to stand for the duration of the ride (that does happen).  I found a woman to sit next to (ensuring I wouldn’t be accompanied by any men that might come on board thereafter) and was feeling quite satisfied with my navigation thus far.  Well, I can’t take any credit, actually.  I never can.  Getting from place to place here is always reliant on a network of various strangers and their kind assistance.  I merely set foot out the door and ask people how to get to the next spot, and then the next spot, and then the next spot.  And every time, I reach my destination nicely, with plenty of fascinating events and sights sprinkled in at random along the way.  After about an hour and a half on the bus I started to see business signs denoting their location in Alappuzha so I asked a woman how to get to Beach Road (I had received a text from Carolyn by this point stating the name of their chosen hotel) and she instructed me to get off at the next stop and then take an auto-rickshaw for 60 rupees to Beach Road.  She even got off with me and walked me to the auto to ask the driver to take me.  I zipped off in the auto, enjoying the buzzing and beeping and wind in my hair.  I always cherish my time in auto-rickshaws.  I don’t think it can ever possibly get old to me.  As we got to Beach Road, there was a procession of people wearing white, holding blue flags.  The driver pulled over and said I’d have to walk the rest of the way.  Uhm.  How far is the rest of the way?  He didn’t know because he didn’t recognize the name of the hotel I was heading to.  But I was on the right road at least.  Almost daily, I find myself jarred into the realization that I’m in some random place or situation in goddamned INDIA, and this was one of those moments.  So random, so funny.  I love it.  So I walked.  With no plan.  I passed the procession (found out later it was a Christian caste protesting their treatment in society) and asked an auto  driver where the hotel was and he said it was within walking distance, but you never know what someone else’s idea of walking distance is.  But it turned out to be only about a 10-minute walk before I saw the sign and found the place.  I ducked my head into the lobby and called Carolyn.  Soon her telephone voice turned into her real-live voice as she turned the corner and we met face-to-face.  Hooray :)  American hugs ensued!!  Haha.  It was great.  I was reminded of how friendly and caring Americans truly are.  Carolyn took me around the back of the hotel to meet Hal and Eric and the tune of Hal’s banjo greeted me before his big smile did.  The BaNjO!  Hahaha.  What an American treat.  Oh, what this life doesn’t have in store for me.  

They had all just arrived so we decided to familiarize ourselves with the beach.  The sun was beginning to set so the sky was filled with beautiful oranges turning to purple and blue.  Some boys were playing cricket and flooded up to us begging “One photo!  One photo!  One photo!”  How endearing, right?  Nope.  A ploy.  I took the photo and then they rushed up all around me (about 10 of them) to peer over my shoulder at the photo.  At this point, I felt my butt getting grabbed and I ducked out of there, waving my arms at them to leave me alone, saying, “uh uhhh.”  Opportunistic little shits.  

After taking our walk on the beach we returned to the hotel for dinner and banjo enjoyment and getting to know one another.  I was blessed with delicious food and wonderful company.  Most notable parts of our conversation were when we were trying to recap confusing situations we’ve all experienced in Indian culture and hadn’t made sense of yet.  We all took our best guesses and enjoyed being able to relate to the common feeling of confusion and laughed at our creative attempts to wade through it.  At one point we had to pull out an India travel book and read the chapter on bathroom usage (Carolyn being here 3 months now, me for a month and with a previous visit under my belt, and still needing clarification).  And even after our research, we remained confused about some aspects of bathing and toileting procedures.  Ah well.  One of the many mysteries of India.  

After dinner we headed to bed.  The room was air-conditioned!!!  It was so nice.  Though I’m living much more comfortably than most of my classmates, I haven’t been exposed to air conditioning much so it was so nice to retreat into it for the night.  Carolyn and I found it difficult to stop chatting before our minds shut down and turned our words into incoherent mush.  

The next morning, my friend Arun joined us.  He’s studying in the MA Tourism Management program at my university and was excited to meet his 2nd, 3rd and 4th Americans ever.  He had taken a bus early in the morning, assuring his grandmother that he was going to the temple for the day.  I felt like such a bad influence, but was relieved when he told me that his parents and sister knew that he was truly with us and not at the temple, but he just couldn’t tell his grandmother because of the “generation gap” and her strict ways.  Okay, I suppose I can relate to that kind of thing with my grandparents.  Not only was it wonderful to have his company, but he was a great help, also.  He helped arrange an overnight houseboat for Carolyn, Hal and Eric, owned by a friend of his cousin.  Houseboats are the famed tourist attraction of Kerala, inhabiting the backwaters of the Arabian Sea.  He also was able to call a contact that Hal had in Trivandrum (their next destination for a music festival) and speak to him in Malayalam to request details of the event and for Hal to interview some musicians for an NPR story he had hoped to create (Hal is “retired” from this profession but still cranks out a few pieces here and there).  It was super helpful, as the festival was being held at a Hindu temple and he found out that one could only enter in traditional Kerala dress, and interviews could only be held outside of the temple.  Good info to have.  

Carolyn invited us to join on the houseboat for the afternoon so we packed up and took an auto to a car to an auto to a houseboat (and temporarily lost two bags and a passport on the way).  But the houseboat was beauuuuutiful.  It was a little bit hilarious because we had to walk through one houseboat to get to another houseboat, and the first one was covered in tarps and looking terrible, psyching us out that it was the one we’d be on, but then we felt great relief when we were informed it was the second one over, which was impeccably clean and elaborate with all the amenities of a 4star hotel room.  It had a front deck with cushions to sit on, a living room area, a dining room area, two bedrooms with separate bathrooms, a full kitchen with a cook and AC.  With the breeze and overcast skies the AC wasn’t needed and we enjoyed gliding along the peaceful, lilypadded waterways.  I saw a snake swimming along so that marks my first dreaded snake sighting in India.  I especially hate when snakes are swimming.  Ick.  

Soon, lunch had been prepared and it was a traditional Kerala feast with fish curry, cabbage curry, sambar, a few other vegetable curries, rice, and we each had our own karimeen (pearl fish).  I’ve been hearing about karimeen since my first days here so I decided to try it.  I believe that India is going to make me into a non-vegetarian, actually (cue my mother’s delight).  The fish and shrimp here are abundant and as I’m in weak shape after some digestive issues, I can see the health benefits of having some fish here and there.  The karimeen was wrapped in banana leaves that we had watched the cook collect from ashore a few minutes earlier.  We all asked Arun for a lesson in eating with our hands, and with the strength in numbers, I finally felt bold in asking the most stupid questions and requesting that he eat in slow motion as we carefully studied his technique.  Not a grain of rice dropped from his hand or mouth in the process.  We were amazed.  He also explained each dish to us and which ingredients were considered “waste” (to be dropped on a waste plate and not eaten, such as curry leaves and the fibrous part of a vegetable referred to as “drumstick”).  

We had also stopped to pick up 2 litres of toddy.  Toddy is a fermented beverage collected directly and purely from palm trees.  To the best of my knowledge, the palm fronds are cut at the base and liquid is collected.  It is regarded as a very healthful drink but as each hour passes during the day, its alcohol content increases quickly.  It is collected twice daily - in the morning and evening.  By evening, it can contain quite a bit of alcohol.  But when we had it, it was pretty sweet and fresh, with little alcohol.  To me, it tastes a little bit like kombucha and feels like the first few sips of wine where your arms and legs get a little warm and noodley.  Apparently, Kerala produces X amount of toddy but Xx2 is available in the market, implying that the supply is often bulked up with impure additives or made synthetically.  It takes a real Malayali to assist in procuring the pure thing and we have Arun to thank for that. 

After lunch we lazed around on the deck, enjoyed some river tunes thanks to Hal and his banjo, and rested with full bellies.  We had pineapple and chaya after lunch (albeit a bad combination and too soon after our huge lunch) and then another 15 minutes later were offered a platter of hot, batter-fried plantains.  As we were lazing and snacking, a canoe drifted toward us and Arun informed me that it was for us.  Huh?  We were to transfer into the canoe, head to land, and hop on our bus back to Kottayam.  Oh, and the canoe paddler also delivered Eric’s passport that he mistakenly left at the hotel earlier.  I never know what is happening here.  India is the land of surprises and never-having-information.  But always delivering in adventure.  So we grabbed our backpacks, shared a round of hugs (probably the first time Arun has seen a woman hug men she’s just met - he assured me that he understands that it’s the culture and so it’s “no problem”), and waved goodbyes from our canoe, departing in dramatic fashion from our new friends, but surely not forever.  

Arun and I got back to Kottayam after dark, but still early.  It’s fun to travel through the city after sunset.  So bustling and alive.  

Eric had signed my ballot earlier in the day over breakfast and took it with him to mail in the US, just for good measure (sorry, Indian postal service - I just don’t trust you).  Thank you, Arun, Carolyn, Hal, Eric, Vaishali, President Obama, and Universe for making this latest adventure a sweet one.

Building Peace Through Inter-Faith Dialogue

Earlier in the week my department was presenting a National Seminar entitled Building Peace: Learning from Inter-Faith Dialogues.  Dr. M.S. John, the head of the Gandhian Thought & Development Studies department, chose the following quotes from Gandhi to open our thinking on the day’s theme: 

"The time has passed when the followers of one religion could stand and say, ‘ours is the only true religion and all others are false.’"  

"God, Allah, Rama, Narayan, Ishwar, Khuda were descriptions of the same Being." 

"God's grace and revelation were not the monopoly of any race or nation." 

"My position is that all the great religions are fundamentally equal.  We must have the innate respect for other religions as we have for our own.  Mind you, not mutual toleration, but equal respect."

Pertaining to the concept of Interfaith, Dr. M.S. John also noted that “Faith can include religion, but it can also be more personalized without much connection to any specific religion.  In that sense, interfaith dialogues are dialogues that take place among spiritually-minded persons, and not merely followers of particular religions.”

We then heard from speakers Ven. Lama Doboom Tulku (Managing Trustee, World Buddhist Culture Trust) on “Creating Peace through Learning and Understanding,” Dr. M. J. Joseph (Former Principal, Marthoma Theological Seminary) on “Togetherness Beyond Barriers,” and Swami Sudhi (Sreenarayana Gurukulam & One World School of Vedanta) on “Vedantic Understanding of Peace.”  

Regarding the many faiths, religions, and spiritualities of humanity, Dr. Joseph shared a quote by Rumi: 

“The lamps are different, but the Light is the same: it comes from Beyond.  If thou keep looking at the lamp, thou art lost: for thence arises the appearance of number and plurality.  Fix thy gaze upon the Light, and thou art delivered from the dualism inherent in the finite body…The Faithful are many, but their Faith is one; their bodies are numerous, but their soul is one.”

He also made a call for ecojustice, which I found to be a surprising and intelligent inclusion in the seminar, as he mentioned how ecological wellbeing is a plight for all mankind to work together to address, regardless of religion.  From his Christian perspective, he shared that God created man only on the last day and did not consult man about his creation of nature, indicating that man is not in power over nature and was not given nature by God.  He said that our foe will not be other countries or religions, but nature herself.  

Lama Doboom Tulku discussed peace as a complete cessation of problems created by our mind and actions, only achieved by looking inward.  He also discussed the inspiring effects of peaceful actions.  He then posed that morality is possible without religion but religion is not possible without morality and urged that ethical education and moral culture must be promoted.  

Swami Sudhi explained the philosophy in Hinduism of “vedanta,” (“end of knowledge” - knowledge meaning what we know, relatively, through our senses) as a science that integrates all sciences.  He discussed how in modern life, man does not know what he is looking for and experiences great inner and outer conflict because of it.  He seeks wealth, status, love, sex, hoping for the result of happiness through such things, but ultimately not being satisfied with anything in this world, instead experiencing inner poverty in his world of plenty.  We (man) do not know what is real and what is not and unpredictability causes us to fear the next moment.  He said that the world changes only if we change ourselves.  Vedanta aims at individual transformation, not large revolution in the outer world.  He added that interference of ego creates man’s obstacles and noted that our educational system is a failure as it teaches our population to aim for achievements and success, but does not teach the way to happiness.  Desiring worldly possessions is counteractive to attaining peace, he said.  Desire causes pain and sorrow while peace is absence of desire.  Though these statements may seem very simplistic and even a bit random as I cluster them together, I found myself giving pause to each sentence Swami Sudha uttered, examining my history.  It was very thought-provoking and encouraging.  

Religion and spirituality have been on my mind a lot.  In India, religion is infused in everything.  It’s incredibly beautiful to observe the various celebrations of the basic tenets of peace and love in daily life.  There is no modesty about the expression of this.  For example, the buses I take to school each day are decorated with bold, bright, colorful images of Jesus, Mary, Ganesh and Shiva, front and center, not to be missed, surrounded by twinkling lights (and more twinkling lights) and flower garlands (and more twinkling lights).  And often I’m asked if I’m Christian.  In order to answer such questions, I find myself looking within to better define my ideas on religion and experience of spirituality, which is a beautiful process personally.  And as I answer this question, and ask questions of my own in turn, we have ourselves some “interfaith dialogue.”  Though I’m not in India to dive headfirst into a new religion, I’m finding the observatory process to be incredibly personally rewarding.  Maybe as you read some of the information I’ve taken from the seminar above, you can also get a sense of how this culture can light a fire deep within a person.  

Today is Monday and I’m feeling a little more comfortable and accepting at school.  

I didn’t have class until 11am (usually 10am) so I got to spend a relaxed morning, thanks to dropping Foundations of Social Science class.  On paper, I dropped it because it’s total review for me of sociology & psychology.  On a side note, I also dropped it because the professor teaches in Malayalam.  Her Powerpoint notes are in English so I was able to copy down the material but anything she communicated beyond that and any class participation she incited was via Malayalam.  So, the class weakly appealed to me and I was able to find another class, 3rd World, in the International Relations department (with most of the other foreign students) which suits my “timetable” (class schedule).  So that’s a minor victory.  

It’s not that I’m not attempting to learn the language, though.  So far I’m picking up some phrases and vocab.  Mota is egg.  Amma is mother.  Sevola is onion.  Ende pere Jessica = I am Jessica (or my name is?).  That’s about it.  Ha.  I think the International Relations department is going to try to coordinate some Malayalam classes for us so I’ll scoop up that opportunity.  I’ll be dropping Malayalam all over the place soon enough.  Uh huh.

But I went to campus today to learn that there were no classes.  I hear that this is a pretty common occurrence.  Today it was because the PhD students were presenting their theses.  Last week it was a petrol strike (no transportation).  Friday is a holiday.  And somehow I bet that another day this week will be canceled.  I’ve heard ideas about another petrol strike day rolling around, and the IR students also have no classes tomorrow for some reason related to the PhD work...so maybe me, too?  We’ll see when I get there.  

My trip to campus was not for naught, however.  I visited the department library, the main library, mailed some post cards, discussed Obama’s effectiveness (or lack thereof) with some faculty (like Americans, many here I've spoken with believe he has not made much, if any, progress, though I believe there are complex limitations beyond his reaches, to progress he has proposed, which is often neglected consideration), heard about how America is a friend to India from another professor who is “so glad to have an American student” in his class, socialized a bit, and a friend helped me to take some Indian salwar kameez(es?) to a tailor for measuring.  He made sure to tell the woman that I’d like whatever style/shape is currently trendy with the other university students.  I’d never know the subtleties.  I’m probably walking around like a goon in the meantime.  Seriously, I don't know if the fabrics I chose are childish, grandma-ish or just right.  My friend also took my old cell phone to get “unlocked” so I can finally use an Indian SIM card and be that much less foreign here.  Not having a “mobile” has been a nice break for me, but when I meet new people, they want a way to stay in contact and make plans.  Y’know.  I just thought I should explain that in case people don’t know what conveniences a cell phone is capable of providing.    

We have cleaning ladies!  I guess they come once a week.  That’s exciting.  They’re super nice and we had a funny time communicating in extremely limited English on their part and extremely limited Malayalam on mine.  I love how much can be understood despite a language barrier.  I think I find it easier to communicate with almost no common language than with others here who know a small to medium amount of English.  I think when there’s no communicable language, people behave less formally as we try to explain ourselves, which is kind of fun.  I’ma kick ass at charades after this year.  When the women left for the day they said they loved me and one gave me air kisses, which I reciprocated.  Aww.  Haha.  

So when I found out I didn’t have classes today, I did not get confused and depressed like I had a couple times last week.  Maybe it’s because the week is young and my spirit is fresh.  But also, maybe it’s because I enjoyed some quality interactions and productivity, regardless.  At the library, I got all pumped about my Gandhian Approach to Health course as I selected some of the required reading material from the shelves.  Seriously, have I blogged about this yet?  Highlights:

*Gandhi & Community

*Environment & Health

*Perspective on Creative Health (cultivating a health awareness, cultivating a life style, cultivating a social responsibility for health)

*Philosophy of Eating Natural Food (food reform, moral basis of vegetarianism, diet for brahmacharya <self-restraint/chastity>, problem of food shortage)

*Non-violent Action

*Life & Yoga

*Concentration (the 5 kinds of mental modification, the levels of attention)

*Astanga Yoga/8-fold path leading to Kaivalya: yama, niyama, asana, pranayama, pratyahara, dharma, dhyana, samadhi.  Also, the place of god in Yoga.  

List of books: 

India’s Food Problem/MK Gandhi

Key to Health/MK Gandhi

Health Practitioners/Carol Huss

Education in Ayurveda - A Reconstructional Analysis/Berud P Flug

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjaii

I was also reading Nature Cure by MK Gandhi.  Here’s a passage: 

Hospitals are institutions for propagating sin.  Men take less care of their bodies and immorality increases.  European doctors are the worst of all.  For the sake of a mistaken care of the human body, they kill annually thousands of animals.  They practise vivisection.  No religion sanctions this.  All say that it is not necessary to take so many lives for the sake of our bodies.  

That’s all I got for now.  Oh, how about this?  A comic book in Malayalam.   

The day got more strange.  I went to my final class and the professor spoke entirely in Malayalam.  Uhhhh.  I'm pretty sure I look like a total foreigner who probably doesn't speak the language so I was confused but didn't want to be rude and interrupt.  Instead I quietly plotted how the hell to drop this class.  And I remember how sometimes in school I'm a quitter when I don't get along with a teacher.  I could also read the other students' body language and facial expressions and it seemed that they were not her biggest fans either.  She did read aloud the syllabus for us to copy down, and that was in English so I got something accomplished.  But then the rest was pretty difficult to understand.  Except, funny enough... I did manage to make out most of the grading system because every 6th word or so would be in English.  So I thought I had made up my mind about dropping the class and substituting an elective but then the professor called me to her office after class.  She then explained things to me separately in English.  And when I asked if the course would be taught in English or Malayalam, she said English, "of course."  So we'll see.  I'm still not convinced.  It's Foundations of Social Sciences, which is entirely review for me (not that I remember the details) so when an elective such as "Third World" is offered in the Poli Sci department, I'm tempted to swap out.  We'll see.

Also, PS: In two weeks I'm going to Chennai with my roommates.  Tamil Nadu!  Sleeper train!    

This morning has been so weird and confusing.  I successfully took the university bus which was good, and got some documents submitted, and even snuck in a trip to the library to print my wire transfer information for the bank.  None of the above are simple, straight-forward tasks here.  I realized as I was scurrying from the library to class, I've not seen other Indians rush (except when getting on and off a bus or train).  Do they simply arrive late or do they just not cram so much in like I do, causing me to rush?  Well, I met my classmates and we just stood and waited for about fifteen minutes.  The language is definitely a barrier.  So a lot of times I just stand around clueless while others speak and when they move, I follow.  The girls seem especially shy.  It's awkward and can be isolating and a bit lonely.  Our first class was good.  Socio-economic Development.  Though the professor mostly spoke directly to me and I'm not sure how much of what he said was actual lecture or just catching me up to speed.  And I wondered if the other two students were understanding his English enough to learn anything because they don't seem to understand my English much.  But I like that the professor is down to earth and engaging.  Our next class (after more weird waiting and following) was Gandhian Approach to Health.  The professor read the syllabus, which none of us had, then informed us that we'd have no class the rest of the week because of some university activities he is involved with.  I'm hopeful about the class.  The syllabus looks incredible, which a student later made copies of.  Yoga, nutrition, vegetarianism, environment, community, etc.  But then he said since classes begin next week, we can just spend the rest of today's class time at the library.  He left the classroom and I followed to ask him if there is a different class I'm to return to after the library and at what time and he seemed to just answer some question I didn't ask.  I don't even know.  All the students were still in the classroom.  Seemingly waiting, yet again.  Eventually most left, except for those in my program so I stayed.  One of them ran through all of their names for me so that was nice but then awkward silence.  Then they asked if I speak Malayalam and I said no - only English and some Spanish.  They spoke in Malayalam and then laughed.  So that's fun.  So then I got this out to write.  Not that any particular thing is upsetting but overall it's a feeling of loneliness.  I know it will pass.  Now the students from my program said they were going to the library and I just stayed back.  I need a break from this confusion.

Another student came in to tell me that his next class is beginning (a different program) and that he thinks my classes are done for today so I packed up like I was going home and found my "time table" (class schedule) freshly posted on the bulletin board.  I have another class at 2.  So now I'm in the library for about an hour.  I've got some good books by Gandhi: The Moral Basis of Vegetarianism, Key to Health, Nature Cure and Letters to Americans.  So at least now I know my course schedule and have a hideout when things get awkward.  That's a relieving accomplishment.  I asked the librarian where I can buy these books and he said it's very simple and they're widely available in some nearby city I've never heard of.  I can't even navigate this city much less another city.  I'm feeling the depth of the value of convenience in the US.  I miss it a little but I know I'll acclimate and things will feel easier and less confusing in time.  And I'll grow.  

From Nature Cure by M. K. Gandhi

Excerpt from forward by Morarji Desai:

The human body is a wonderful and perfect machine.  If it gets out of order it can set itself right without medicine, provided it is given a chance to adjust itself.  If we are not abstemious in our habits of food, etc. or if our mind is agitated by passion, emotion, or anxiety, the body cannot eliminate all the refuse and that part which remains uneliminated turns into toxins whose presence gives rise to symptoms which we call disease.